65 Sex Questions – 65 Dirty Questions to Ask Your Partner

Clearly everyone knows communication is king in the case of sustaining a wholesome relationship—and, sure, that features a wholesome intercourse life. As sexologist Jess O’Reilly, PhD, a intercourse and relationships professional for Womanizer, explains, “Ongoing communication improves understanding, deepens connection, and results in hotter intercourse.” However what chances are you’ll not know is that each one of that speaking can truly be a hell of a superb time, particularly in the case of speaking about intercourse.

The way in which we speak in regards to the significance of speaking in relationships can generally make it sound like a chore—like some type of homework you have to do to ensure your relationship maintains a sure GPA. Spoiler alert: Speaking along with your accomplice can (and will!) be enjoyable. And if you’re speaking about intercourse, effectively, it may be downright sizzling. One simple solution to get the dialog began, take the strain off, and flip up the warmth a little bit? Asking your accomplice enjoyable intercourse questions on what they like (and don’t like, and fantasize about) in mattress.

“Asking your accomplice intimate questions gives you data to boost your intercourse life,” says intercourse therapist Laurie Mintz, PhD, a intercourse professional for Lelo and writer of Changing into Cliterate and A Drained Girl’s Information to Passionate Sex. “It is going to show you how to be taught what your accomplice finds erotic, and also will show you how to share the identical.”

Not solely can a enjoyable and attractive sport of 20 questions make it simpler to start out speaking, but it surely’s additionally a good way to open up greater discussions about boundaries, desires and needs. (Fairly necessary stuff, TBH!) “Whenever you ask questions that result in significant conversations, you’ll higher perceive not solely what your accomplice is into, however why they might be drawn to particular acts, fantasies, situations, and emotions,” says O’Reilly.

To not point out, whereas buying and selling questions can positively assist enhance your relationship—and thus result in higher intercourse—a little bit attractive Q&A sesh can principally be foreplay in and of itself. Typically, simply speaking about intercourse is nearly as sizzling as having it.

Whether or not you’re seeking to sexually sus out a brand new accomplice, join extra deeply with a present one, or get you each right into a sexier mind-set, these intercourse questions are certain to get you pondering (and doubtless greater than *simply* pondering, if you happen to catch our drift).

      1. Have you ever ever had a threesome?

      Positive, this query could be answered with a “sure” or a “no,” however let me guarantee you, it’s by no means that easy. Posing this Q to your accomplice this may also help you gauge whether or not they a) have had a threesome, b) could be concerned with having a threesome sooner or later, and c) had a poor expertise having a threesome.

      It opens up the dialog for many follow-up like “How was that threesome initiated?”, “Do you ever fantasize about having a threesome with me?”, and “Do you like MMF or FFM or FFF or MMM or what?”

      2. Does voyeurism flip you on?

      “Voyeurism is getting sexual pleasure from watching others when they’re bare or partaking in intercourse acts,” Jill McDevitt, PhD, CalExotics sexologist, beforehand advised Cosmopolitan. This might seem like having fun with seeing your accomplice masturbate in entrance of you, desirous to see your accomplice with one other particular person, desirous to “look, however don’t contact” whereas your accomplice is within the bathe, and so on. Asking your accomplice how they really feel about watching may also help you see whether or not that is one thing you’d prefer to discover collectively sooner or later.

      3. Does exhibitionism flip you on?

      Now to the flip aspect of voyeurism: exhibitionism. Medical sexologist Sarah Melancon, sexuality and relationship professional for, beforehand advised Cosmopolitan that “exhibitionism is a sexual kink wherein the particular person feels sexual arousal on the concept or actuality of being seen bare or engaged in sexual actions by others.” Possibly you didn’t know there was an precise phrase for having fun with being the focus or thriving off of your accomplice’s horniness, however there may be—and it’s v frequent.

      4. What are your onerous boundaries?

      In different phrases, is there something you completely don’t need somebody to do? This kicks off a wholesome dialog about consent that’s completely very important earlier than partaking in any kind of hooking up. And if you happen to don’t know what chances are you’ll or will not be into, fill out a “Sure, No, Possibly” listing by your self, then evaluate solutions along with your accomplice. Templates like this one are nice.

      5. What’s the number-one factor in your sexual bucket listing?

      This one just about cuts to the chase! In the event that they solely had a yr to stay, what’s the one intercourse factor they’d have to cross off the listing? Along with offering perception into what might be one among their largest fantasies in the intervening time, this query can even get your particular person occupied with why they haven’t achieved it but, and perhaps how the 2 of you possibly can examine it off their listing collectively.

      6. What’s your opinion on monogamy versus open relationships?

      Okay certain, this isn’t a intercourse intercourse query per se, however you will need to make clear with somebody you’re both hooking up with or desirous to hook up with. Relying on what you’re searching for, chances are you’ll favor one relationship fashion over the opposite.

      7. What do you concentrate on incorporating intercourse toys into our intercourse routine?

      How do they really feel about it? Have they ever achieved it earlier than? What toys have they used earlier than? What toys would they like to make use of sooner or later? The questions are actually countless right here. However let me simply make clear that intercourse toys are pals, not enemies. In the event you want a intercourse toy that can assist you orgasm throughout partnered intercourse, there may be completely nothing improper with that and also you shouldn’t be made to really feel dangerous due to it. They’re additionally a good way to combine up the monotony of intercourse generally.

      8. Do you prefer it after I take cost?

      It is a stable solution to be taught your accomplice’s desires, plus, it permits you to tread gently into the submissive, dominant, swap dialog.

      9. How would you like me to make you’re feeling after I’m seducing you/initiating intercourse?

      This may occasionally appear a little bit apparent—uh, they most likely need to really feel sexy, duh—however there’s much more to feeling turned on than simply, effectively, feeling turned on. Based on O’Reilly, this query may also help you and your accomplice higher perceive one thing referred to as your “core erotic feeling.” Mainly, that is the sensation that helps you most get within the temper for intercourse. What do you want to really feel turned on and within the temper? For some individuals, feeling protected is the important thing to feeling prepared for intercourse. Others have to really feel beloved or romantically excited. Some individuals are most within the temper once they really feel highly effective, or desired. “This erotic-emotional connection is usually an important factor of seduction and getting within the temper for intercourse,” says O’Reilly. “Your core erotic feeling lays the groundwork for creating need.”

      10. How do you’re feeling in your hottest fantasies?

      When you’ve found out what emotions assist your accomplice get turned on, it may be enjoyable to discover how they really feel ~within the second~. “This query means that you can discover your elevated erotic emotions—the feelings that make sexual pleasure extra intense,” says O’Reilly. “Maybe you get actually turned on if you really feel irresistible? Maybe pleasure peaks if you really feel submissive? Or maybe you get off on feeling a way of concern or degradation?” Your elevated erotic emotions can change on a regular basis, which makes this a enjoyable query to return to many times.

      11. I would like to start out sexting you after I’m sexy and miss you, would you be into that?

      Some individuals are, some individuals aren’t, but it surely’s higher to have a dialog along with your particular person about it earlier than spontaneously sending them a grimy textual content at 2 p.m. on a Monday, solely to be left on learn. Plus, you possibly can go over whether or not sexting one another throughout work or faculty is honest sport.

      12. I need to ship you a nude photograph, how do you’re feeling about that?

      This goes hand-in-hand with the entire sexting factor. Earlier than sending a nude photograph, ask your accomplice in the event that they’re comfy receiving and/or sending them. If they’re, talk about what your expectation is once they obtain that nude photograph: Would you like them to instantly delete it? Are you okay with them preserving it saved of their digital camera? Will you solely use Snapchat to trade nude images?

      13. How do you want touching your self?

      Who is aware of methods to please you higher than…you? So attending to understand how your accomplice practices solo intercourse is a good way to be taught what they like. Plus, you possibly can then use these methods on them later.

      14. What’s a fantasy that you simply’ve at all times been interested in?

      Let’s be clear: Simply because somebody has a sure fantasy doesn’t imply they need to go there in actual life, says Angie Rowntree, founding father of “Nevertheless, by framing the query on this method, you enable your accomplice to be susceptible and see the place they genuinely need to discover,” she says.

      “In the event you each really feel protected speaking about belongings you need to discover, you possibly can keep away from getting ‘caught in a rut’ and hold issues enjoyable and recent. Vulnerability and sincere communication will let you bond on a deeper degree, it doesn’t matter what you find yourself doing or not doing.”

      15. Ideas on butt stuff?

      Except for establishing consent, asking this query can probably take your and your accomplice’s intercourse life to a complete new degree. (Like, hi there, butt plugs.)

      16. Who’s your dream superstar fuck?

      Speaking about an unattainable fuck is a enjoyable solution to flip your accomplice on with out all of the dramatics of jealousy getting concerned. If speaking about Idris Elba turns them on, (hello, it’s me) why not use it to your benefit?

      17. What’s your favourite time of day to have intercourse?

      Ah, the age-old query: morning intercourse or evening intercourse? Nevertheless it’s a basic for a motive! Individuals typically have sturdy opinions about this one, and often some enjoyable experiences to again them up. Speaking about these preferences can even assist you determine the very best time to provoke intercourse along with your accomplice, and show you how to two map out your superb sexual schedule.

      18. What’s your superb position play situation?

      Asking your accomplice about position enjoying might open up a complete new world of sizzling intercourse concepts for you two. Are they a professor-student kind of particular person? A strangers-meet-at-the-bar kind of particular person? Both method, discussing your position play fantasies can result in legit fantasies coming true.

      Cosmo’s Fantasy Intercourse Video games: Steamy Function-Taking part in Challenges for Subsequent-Stage Bed room Enjoyable

      Hearst Residence


      19. The place’s the wildest place you’ve had intercourse?

      Is it someplace a little bit extra low-stakes like a automotive? Or someplace tremendous dangerous like a film theatre?

      20. Do you want the way in which you style?

      I imply, personally, one among my favourite strikes is when a man places a finger in me and makes me style it afterward. Undoubtedly getting turned on simply occupied with it.

      21. What kind of porn do you want to observe?

      “This may typically provide you with perception into their fantasy themes and turn-ons with out requiring them to create it for themselves,” says Stefani Goerlich, LMSW.

      22. How would you’re feeling about watching porn collectively?

      ICYMI, watching porn collectively as a pair could be eye-opening when it comes to studying and exploring what you each like and don’t like in mattress. Swapping your night Netflix routine for some extra ~grownup~ programming can open up the door to conversations about fantasies and limits, and people conversations all begin with this query.

      23. What’s the primary video/type of porn you’d need to present me?

      You present one another your favourite TV reveals, so why wouldn’t you need to share your favourite porn? Likelihood is, your accomplice already has one thing in thoughts that they need to present you.

      24. When do you’re feeling your sexiest?

      Whether or not it is a wax and spa day or perhaps once they’re showering, speaking about their sexiest moments can put them in that second. Plus, asking this may also help you identify what instances are greatest to provoke intercourse.

      25. Ideas on soiled speak?

      Earlier than you bounce proper into calling somebody (or your self) “daddy,” it might be useful to gauge how your accomplice feels about soiled speak. In the event that they’re for it, this query might result in some fairly sizzling rapport.

      26. What phrases and phrases flip you on?

      Okay, sure, soiled speak could be fairly sizzling. However what constitutes good soiled speak can differ considerably from individual to individual. “Sharing particular phrases and phrases that flip you on or flip you off may also help information your lover in attractive your auditory aspect,” says O’Reilly.

      27. What phrases and phrases flip you off?

      By that very same token, one particular person’s “OMG sure” is one other particular person’s ick. (Once more, see: “Daddy.”) One thing you may discover tremendous sizzling might find yourself being a complete vibe-killer. Greatest to examine in earlier than you casually bust out the “Sure, Chef.”

      28. What do you consider if you masturbate?

      “Asking this query offers you perception into what they concentrate on throughout partnered intercourse too,” says Goerlich. Are they imagining a particular situation? Are they concentrating on the bodily sensations they’re experiencing? Are they occupied with you? Realizing the place their mind goes once they’re having solo intercourse could be a nice little bit of perception so that you can have if you’re having intercourse collectively, too.”

      29. Do you want what you see?

      It is a stable query to ask as a result of, hopefully, the reply is a given. “It prompts a response that’s simple to repeat and does not take a complete lot to consider,” says Marla Renee Stewart, a sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness model. “You do not need to be pondering an excessive amount of since you need to be current and, most significantly, occupied with the pleasure that your physique goes to obtain.”

      30. What’s a kink you’ve at all times needed to attempt, however had been too afraid to?

      “The extra forbidden one thing is, the extra probably we’re to be turned on by it,” Goerlich says. “Usually, individuals are ashamed of their fantasies, as a result of our fantasies are not often PC. Asking the query this fashion offers you perception into their probably ‘naughty’ needs whereas providing them the protection of preserving it firmly within the realm of fantasy.”

      Oh, and for the report, nothing is “taboo” or off limits if it offers you pleasure and is completed consensually.

      31. Would you take into account your self extra dominant or submissive?

      Even if you happen to haven’t gone down the BDSM street, you possibly can nonetheless speak about enjoying roles whereas in mattress. In case your accomplice tells you they’re extra dominant or submissive, you can begin incorporating that into intercourse. And even the alternative: swap issues as much as hold issues thrilling.

      32. What kind of erotica do you prefer to learn?

      Books—together with the soiled ones—will inform you actually all the things you want to learn about somebody.

      33. What makes you’re feeling good?

      Asking about what evokes a particular bodily response in them, as an alternative of about what sort of particular motion they get pleasure from, opens up plenty of doorways to discover new methods to elicit that very same response sooner or later,” says Goerlich.

      34. What’s your favourite intercourse reminiscence of us?

      In the event you’ve had intercourse with this particular person already, reliving a few of your greatest intercourse moments can put each you and your accomplice into a horny temper. Was it the time you snuck away from a household occasion for a fast tryst? Or was it the time you each wakened prepared for some morning intercourse? Both method, even simply speaking about it could possibly get you two sizzling.

      35. What’s your favourite intercourse reminiscence that doesn’t embrace me?

      Pay attention, if you’re not going to get pleasure from listening to about nice intercourse your accomplice had with somebody who isn’t you, then go forward and skip this one. No want to ask pointless jealousy and drama into the chat! However if you happen to are sport to get into the new and heavy particulars of your accomplice’s sexual previous, (or current, if you happen to’re non-monogamous) this may be a good way to be taught extra about what turns them on, and perhaps choose up just a few ideas alongside the way in which

      36. Do you need to attempt a brand new place?

      There’s nothing like making an attempt one thing new so as to add a layer of sexiness to your subsequent romp. In the event you’ve exhausted doggy fashion, you possibly can at all times attempt one thing completely completely different. May any of those positions work?

      37. What songs are in your intercourse playlist?

      This query will give an concept of what kind of music your accomplice likes to get it on to. You too can steal these solutions for the subsequent intercourse playlist you make for the each of you.

      38. Do you want after I take you in deep or if you take me in deep?

      “For anybody that likes penetration, this can be a nice solution to step into your pleasure,” Stewart says. “Not solely does this query provide you with and your lover a visible, but it surely helps foster daydreams that get your creativeness flowing about what you are able to do when your (or your lover’s) legs or ass are unfold open.”

      39. What’s your favourite place to be kissed?

      Speaking about sexual preferences could be a good way to determine directions for your self in mattress. Like, if they are saying they prefer to be kissed on their neck, kiss them on the neck…

      40. What’s your favourite intercourse toy?

      Whether or not it’s a solo toy or one thing to make use of collectively, studying about what intercourse toys your accomplice likes may also help you two determine methods to include them into intercourse collectively.

      41. How does this really feel? Is that this okay?

      “It is necessary to not solely set up consent but in addition to examine in along with your accomplice for suggestions,” says Rowntree. “You positively need to encourage [them] to share with you the issues [they] get pleasure from and body it in a optimistic gentle with the potential for reciprocity. This manner you possibly can transcend mere consent and open yourselves as much as higher transparency and belief as you be taught what your accomplice enjoys.”

      42. What’s one intercourse act you would like you may do once more for the primary time?

      Typically talking, intercourse tends to get higher the extra we do it. However generally, there’s simply nothing like the fun of a sexual first. Unlocking some tremendous attractive reminiscence about how sizzling it was the primary time your accomplice tried anal (or had a threesome or used a intercourse toy, and so on.,) can result in hours of erotic reminiscing.

      43. What’s one intercourse act you by no means need to do once more?

      All of us have these intercourse acts we fall for at first fuck, after which we’ve got our one-and-dones. Not solely can realizing your accomplice’s largest been-there-done-that-never-again sexual expertise introduce you to a few of their boundaries, however it could possibly additionally show you how to perceive why they don’t just like the issues they’re not into.

      44. Who could be in your good orgy?

      What higher solution to spend a lazy day in mattress than drafting your dream orgy collectively as a pair?

      45. How many individuals would you’re feeling comfy having intercourse with without delay?

      Talking of orgies, how does your accomplice actually really feel about group intercourse? For some individuals, three’s a crowd. For others, the restrict doesn’t exist.

      46. Would you ever make a intercourse tape?

      FWIW, this doesn’t imply it’s a must to make one. However the concept of being filmed (in your eyes solely, after all) could be a actual activate for some individuals. Speaking about what you’d embrace in your intercourse tape may even put you two within the temper to make one.

      47. What’s your favourite place to have intercourse?

      Possibly it’s the bathe, the sofa, or on the seaside. Both method, speaking about your favourite intercourse spots can present you the place your accomplice feels most comfy getting it on.

      48. Do you want being spanked?

      Some individuals prefer it tough and a few individuals don’t, however you gained’t know your accomplice’s preferences till you ask. Even if you happen to assume it’s one thing they’re into, you must at all times examine with them earlier than.

      49. Do you like giving head or getting head?

      Some individuals are pure givers and a few individuals are pure receivers. Each are okay. However speaking about which your accomplice prefers may also help you be taught the place they stand on the subject of oral intercourse generally.

      50. Do you prefer it after I contact you there?

      Offered that you have already got established [consent], saying this sentence in a low, comfortable, deep tone, whilst you gracefully hint their genitals, is a superb query to ask,” Stewart advises. “It is seductive and it implies that you simply need to transfer ahead to one thing that entails the physique half that you’re referring to.”

      51. What’s been your hottest intercourse dream?

      Whenever you speak about intercourse desires, you can’t solely find out about your accomplice’s unconscious intercourse fantasies, however you can also make their desires a actuality. Simply don’t get jealous if the dream is about somebody or one thing else.

      52. What character are you most drawn to and why?

      All of us have our fictional crushes, and sharing them could be a low-pressure solution to discover out extra about what somebody is into—particularly for individuals who could really feel nervous speaking about intercourse that doesn’t contain their accomplice. “Speaking a few fictional third occasion can present a glimpse into what excites you,” says O’Reilly. “In the event you talk about what attracts you to a personality on tv or in a novel, you possibly can provide your accomplice new insights on how they’ll tease, excite, seduce, and pleasure you.”

      53. What a part of your physique is craving extra consideration?

      In case you haven’t heard, principally any physique half could be an erogenous zone. And, as ob-gyn Constants Adams, MD, beforehand advised Cosmopolitan, new ones can pop up on a regular basis. It’s by no means a foul time to examine in along with your accomplice about any new sizzling spots that might be in want of a little bit TLC.

      54. What do you keep in mind most about your first sexual expertise?

      Clearly you must alway train warning when asking about somebody’s sexual previous. However early sexual experiences could be fairly formative, so speaking about them may also help you bond as companions, and be taught so much about the way you grew into your present variations of your sexual selves.

      55. Do you like to provoke, or do you want after I take the lead?

      A few of us are born initiators, a few of us simply need to be pursued, and others like to combine it up relying on the vibe! Realizing which method your accomplice leans is clearly big in the case of constructing a appropriate intercourse life collectively. That stated, you must by no means assume your accomplice has one set desire. Possibly they often prefer to provoke, however truly they’ve been wanting you to take the reins recently. You won’t know until you ask!

      56. What’s probably the most underrated intercourse place?

      My fellow missionary apologists to the entrance, please! It’s no secret that sure intercourse positions are inclined to get a foul rap as boring or unnecessarily tough or no matter, however that doesn’t imply they don’t have their followers! Invite your accomplice to offer an impassioned protection of their unfairly maligned fav and let the talk start.

      57. What’s probably the most overrated intercourse place?

      All of us have that one place that everybody else appears to rave about that simply doesn’t do it for us. (*Cough* doggy. Sorry not sorry.) These questions are far more enjoyable than the usual “What’s your favourite/least favourite place?” as a result of they set the stage for extra honesty, (you’re actually inviting them to go in opposition to the grain right here) and, sure, perhaps even some wholesome debate.

      58. What’s one factor you by no means thought you’d be into that turns you on now?

      Buddies, there was a time after I thought I’d by no means need to give a blow job. To be honest, I used to be like 11. Regardless, suffice to say I’ve since modified my thoughts. Our sexual preferences, boundaries and turn-ons are consistently evolving. Asking about one thing that was as soon as a tough no and has since was a sure (and even only a perhaps!) may also help you faucet into that evolution.

      59. What’s your favourite intercourse scene from a film or TV present?

      Typically intercourse scenes from films or TV reveals are actually higher than porn. (Sure, hello, clearly speaking about Bridgerton.) Enable your favourite big-screen big-Os to encourage a sexy film marathon, or perhaps even a little bit Regency-Period position play.

      60. Have you ever ever been to a intercourse membership/intercourse occasion?

      Intercourse golf equipment could have been ultra-secretive, underground occasions again within the day, however nowadays the intercourse occasion scene is virtually mainstream. There’s a non-zero probability your accomplice has been to at least one, and even when they haven’t, this can be a good alternative to ask if it’s one thing they’d ever be concerned with.

      61. What’s one thing you’re feeling you’ve gotten higher at sexually?

      There’s at all times room for enchancment! Whether or not it’s mastering a particular intercourse act, getting higher at feeling centered in our our bodies, or practising enthusiastic consent, there are every kind of sexual abilities—bodily and in any other case—that we’re consistently sharpening. Why not give your accomplice an opportunity to congratulate themselves on a job effectively achieved?

      62. What’s a sexual encounter you would like you may have once more?

      As soon as once more, not a terrific query if you happen to’re the jealous kind. However if you happen to’re down to listen to a few notably sizzling sexual rendezvous from their previous which will or could not embrace you, a little bit reminiscing could be sizzling for you each.

      63. What do you assume makes you so nice in mattress?

      Go forward, allow them to flex a little bit. Positive, you possibly can inform them how nice they’re in mattress all day lengthy, however once in a while, all of us respect a little bit room to applaud ourselves. To not point out, discovering out what your accomplice is most pleased with in mattress may also help you determine methods to make them really feel most assured.

      64. When do you’re feeling most sexually assured? How can I help you?

      And, talking of confidence, it’s a terrific factor to have within the bed room. That stated, “It’s not your job to make sure that your accomplice feels assured,” says O’Reilly. “However if you happen to could be part of the supportive course of, you’ll probably each get extra of what you need in the case of connection, pleasure and intercourse.”

      65. What makes nice intercourse nice?

      Hate to interrupt it to you, however there’s nobody, tried-and-true system for good intercourse. For some individuals, it’s all about enthusiasm. For others, good intercourse isn’t good intercourse with out emotional intimacy, and for others all of it comes all the way down to nailing the large end, if what I imply.

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